Posted in Cursory Resources, Let's Talk About Poly

Consent is more than saying yes

Consent is more than saying yes.

Consent is having the information to make informed decisions in regards to your autonomy and respect.

Consent in relationships may include understanding your partners’ cognitive differences or ability differences. It may require “extra” communication for various needs.

When dealing with neurodivergent people and other cognitive differences, it is essential to understand the basics of cognition and ignition ability to understand where communication gaps may occur.

Differences can occur in:

❤Verbal comprehension or our ability to understand words, sentences, paragraphs.

❤Sensitivity to problems or our ability to problem-solve.

❤Syllogistic reasoning or drawing conclusions from premises.

❤Number facility or maths-related stuff.

❤Induction or process of making things happen.

❤General reasoning or finding solutions with more math-related stuff.

❤Associative memory or recollection based on information for unrelated things.

❤Span memory or recollection post initial introduction.

❤Associational fluency aka knowing synonyms

❤ Expressional fluency or your ability to convey your thoughts with accuracy.

❤Spontaneous flexibility, aka appropriate situational response.

❤Perceptual speed—Find instances of a pattern under speeded conditions.

❤Visualization or the ability to visualize concepts.

❤Spatial orientation or identifying objects placement in space.

❤Length estimation or the ability to estimate the distance between points.

I have tried to explain this in ways that will make sense to people that don’t study psychology. Please look at the links below and feel free to ask questions.

For more on cognition and cognitive ability:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/social-sciences/cognitive-ability

https://cognitiontoday.com/what-is-cognition-executive-functions-and-cognitive-processes/

https://www.cambridgecognition.com/blog/entry/what-is-cognition

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/cognitive-skills-how-to-improve-them

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rstb.2017.0293

https://www.everydayhealth.com/neurology/cognitive-dissonance/how-cognitive-dissonance-affects-your-relationships/

Posted in Kitty Whispers

Asexuality is not a lack of desire.

When I say desire is not apart of the definition of asexuality I mean, asexual organizations have researched and noted that attraction and desire are not the same. ( You can view so much sexuality education and research to verify this).

We have been taking active steps to acknowledge this especially because it is erasive to a good portion of asexuals.

I know it doesn’t seem big to most allosexuals, but let me remind y’all that most of your sexual orientation is an afterthought because you directly experience attraction for your interest.

Asexuals lack that feature or lack that feature to an extent ( our lovely Grays and demis). We have to construct what this is through a lot of introspection that most of us don’t know to do, which is why the assumption that asexuality equals no interest in sex comes in.

Please adjust this thinking and do some updated reading.

Asexuality is not new, we are doing the work know to give it visibility. It’s been conflated with celibacy, abstinence, and hyposexuality for generations. It’s harmful.

It’s part of why asexuals experience oppressive actions in our relationships and even religious interactions that we face.

Please respect us enough to do this work.