Posted in Kitty Whispers


A transfer from let’s talk about poly which is now one of my deleted sites.

There seems to be this really big misconception in poly relationships where if problems arise between individuals in a poly relationship all partners have to band together to fix the problem.

This is wrong for most dynamics.

More often than not it is more beneficial to step aside and allow the people that have problems to sort them out individually ( to understand the problem and how it is affecting them and their actions) and together ( to process what the problem is and why it has become a problem so severe that it is causing hardship).

It’s a matter of respect. It’s a matter of not being selfish. It’s a matter of not becoming a crutch.

Just because you are poly does not mean that you always have to be a group for everything.

To me the same logic to the anti-unicorn argument holds. Not everyone should be expected to have the same feeling, interactions and relationships with each other. So in essence, the group cannot always be the problem solver. For me the triad dealing with individual dynamics should be a last resort. If two of the three can’t be together and love each other without the third, there is no reason for them to be together.



Shalyse Wright-Bethea is the Founder of Design and Scheme. She has been working as Professional Organizer and Productivity Consultant. Shalyse is an activist and she’s passionate and that reflects in everything that she does. Want to chat, have questions or want to hear my thoughts on a topic? Send me a shout: B.A in Interdisciplinary Studies ( Focus disciplines: Business, Humanities, Marketing) Event planner. Organizer. Loving my crunchy, veggie life.

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